Keeping cool when kids drive you nuts

When Michael Warden of Summerville brought his 3-month-old daughter to the emergency room this weekend, he may have looked the part of a teenage father too young and unprepared to keep his child from injury; hospital staff knew better.

The child’s arm and head injuries were not consistent with only falling off the couch.  Warden, 18, later confessed to police he shook his daughter because she was being fussy.

The problem is more wide spread than you might think.  According to the Shaken Baby Task Force there are about 50,000 cases of shaken babies in the U.S. each year.  About 25 percent of the babies die and 60 percent are left with some sort of permanent disability.

Those conditions include:  Mental Retardation ,Cerebral Palsy, Developmental Delays, Inability to Walk, Inability to Eat, Blindnes, Hearing Loss, Seizures and Paralysis.

Family therapist Victoria Deshong-Hogan says there are common factors most parents deal with that coupled with anger management problems can make it a short journey from parental affection to abuse.

Parents can lash out at kids who they perceive as causing their stress because of the many other problems in their lives.  Stress from work, concerns over money, conflict with your significant other just some of the issues that build up and push parents over the edge.

Deshong-Hogan says parents who finds themselves with urges to hit, shake or otherwise hurt their child need to take an evaluation of what is really going on inside them.  They may need to talk out problem with those who stress them out, or have a helpful conversation with a friend.  Professional counseling may need serious consideration.

Parents also need to find ways to take a ‘parenting break.‘  Ask trusted family and friends to become part of your support system, so you can get some time away from your kids to re-focus, re-energize and release your stress.

Taking parenting classes is not just for “bad” moms and dads or first time parents.  For kids that seem overwhelmingly difficult to deal with it may be that they have a condition like A.D.D. that needs evaluation to find solutions that improve your relationship.