Domestic Violence: Victim to Survivor

Almost 40 women die each year as a result of domestic violence in South Carolina, but many more are in abusive relationships.

Fifty-year old Darlene Sloan shot and killed on Christmas day.  The suspect, her husband Bobby Sloan.

For men and women in abusive relationships murder like this tragedy is often the ultimate fear.

“The one thing we know about domestic violence is that when it begins, which is usually verbal abuse, people don’t go backwards. They go forward and it usually escalates,” said family therapist Victoria DeShong-Hogan who works with couples in abusive relationships. 

Although she didn’t work with the Sloan’s, she says in similar cases, there’s usually a history of violence.

“Domestic violence doesn’t just happen in the instance that somebody just picks up a gun. This is something that builds up over time and it really begins with the verbal abuse,” she continued.

She also says alcohol and substance abuse can escalate a domestic dispute.  That coupled with holiday stress, the situation can quickly become deadly.

“I have so many clients who have stories about what has happened to them in the holiday. So I know during the time of the holiday people can act out more in terms or being aggressive and being irritable if they are stressed.”

That’s why it’s important for you to seek help early on To make sure that you are no longer a victim and instead a survivor.

“Just because a person hasn’t laid a hand on you or brandished a weapon doesn’t necessarily mean that they can’t get there.”

According to the State Attorney General’s officer there were about 36,000 reported victims of domestic violence in South Carolina in 2005, but less than half of the cases resulted in an arrest.

If you are in an abusive relationship or think you may be, here’s a number to call where you can find help.

My Sister’s House is a home for women and children who need to escape abusive situations.

The 24-hour crisis hotline is 1-800-273-HOPE, that’s 1-800-273 -4673.

Additional Resources:
http://www.sccadvasa.org/members.aspx
http://www.scattorneygeneral.org/fraud/cdv/index.html